to be honest...

I find that the bloggers I love reading daily are the ones that bare it all. Bloggers that are uncensored and brutally honest. For whatever reason, it is hard for me to lay it all on the table and tell it like it really is. A lot of it has to do with my need to remain as private as possible about certain issues that pertain to Molly Grace and her lack of the other parent, and I'll just leave it at that. It is unfortunate and sad, but I do not want to make my blog private and only have invited guests. I have to choose what I think is the reasonable amount of information I can relay to the wide world of the internet, in order to protect Molly Grace and myself.

With that being said, I have a confession to make. It is no where near as dramatic as the previous paragraph sets it up to be, but it is something I fear of sharing with friends, family, random strangers, etc. Being a parent is so amazing. One thing that comes with being a parent that is not always the most fun is the amount of advice and information you get from other people about how to be parent. I feel like it really depends on who is giving the advice as to how I will react to the parenting advice. This one little confession I have is something I hear constantly about from everyone and that is the subject of co-sleeping.

When I was a pregnant, I SWORE I would never let Molly Grace sleep with me. I mean, I pronounced it to everyone that we would NOT sleep in the same bed, under any circumstances. Boy, am I eating those words now. I breastfed Molly Grace for 6 months and had to stop because my work schedule did not allow me to pump as regularly as I needed to to be able to keep my supply up to Molly Grace's demand. Because I was breastfeeding her as a newborn, for several weeks after we got home from the hospital, she slept with me because of the amount of sleep we were NOT getting and it was just easy to have her right there when she was hungry. This was wonderful at the time and created this amazing bond between us and as she grew older I just wanted to have her near me as much as possible, even if I wasn't awake. I love her so much and I just wanted her close. Also, as a single mother, I didn't have anyone telling me, "that baby needs to be in her own bed". At about 3 months, she started sleeping on her own and she did well with it. Then one day, I don't exactly remember when, I decided I wanted her to sleep with me and we've been doing it ever since. She can sleep anywhere, so it's not her that has to be in the bed with mommy, it's me that wants to be close to her.

Just recently, I have been thinking that she really needs to be in her own bed. She has a wonderful bed, beautiful (in my opinion) bedding, and her baby to sleep with and it would be nice to have all of the space in my queen size bed, instead of my corner that I get. Somehow 29 inches long and 20 pounds can take up a lot of room!

Today solidified my confirmation that it is time to stop this habit. I was watching Teen Mom, (one of my guilty pleasures) and all of these teen moms put there babies down in their own beds and I'm sitting there thinking, if these teen moms can do it, I can too. Now, I personally don't care how other parents choose to let their babies sleep. It is every parent's decision and none of my business. The only reason I am making this move now is because I need better sleep. I'm exhausted all the time with neck cramps and pulled muscles from sleeping around Miss Molly Grace who is a mover and a shaker, even when she is fast asleep.

So tonight, MG is in her crib, in her brand new pajamas with her baby and sleeping like a rock. There's my confession. I'm Mary Beth and I shared a bed with my one year old for pretty much the past year. I can't make any promises that she will never again sleep with me, but I needed to share. I made the step tonight and I am proud.

Here's to a good night's rest.